Dear Abby hit a home run this week. A Catholic man wrote her in despair about his "slut" of a wife, who (he discovered after 15 years of faithful, fruitful marriage and 2 children) had slept with a married man when she was single.
Our poor saint is distraught about this! Here's a quote: "I feel I'm not making love to a "clean" woman, that she is used and dirty laundry." He then goes on to compare her to a used car that was sold to him as new.
He then goes on to whine about how he still loves her, and that he'll stay for the sake of the kids. O, most noble saint! The most telling line is that though she claims to be a good Catholic, he told her she had ignored the faith's teachings that she be a virgin "for your husband." It's all about you, isn't it, Charlie?
Abby tears him apart, rightly, as a pious hypocrite, having avoided the claim that he was a virgin (as the Church also teaches) before marriage. Not to mention his inability to forgive her, after 15 years of exemplary life. Not to mention his lack of charity and humility. Not to mention the Church's teaching that Original Sin trips us all up. Not to mention that he has objectified his wife, denying her dignity, treating her not as a person made in God's image but as a commodity for his own enjoyment. Abby then goes on to advise both religious and psycholigical counseling for him, saying, "You need more help than anyone can give you in a letter."
Ouch.
To which I might add the need for serious marriage counseling. Our saint has done incalculable damage to his relationship. If you love your wife, it's time to get working, son!
Phariseeism is neither dead nor an affliction only of the Jews of gospel time. It is a disease that consumes all, especially those who consider themselves holy. It's to us all that Christ directs his admonishment to remove the plank from our own eye before seeing the speck in the eye of the other. (Matthew 7:3).
You go, Abby!
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