Call and Response

I received the sweetest letter from H, a young South African man struggling with his faith. Thought I'd share, changing names for privacy.

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Sent: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 3:16 PM
Subject: Help.... Struggling to keep my faith.

Hi J.

I just read your review on The God who wasn't there.

My name is H. I am 23 years old and live in P, South Africa. I am currently in full-time ministry, working at an inter denominational missions leadership training school. I work in IT part-time.

I have been a believer for as long as I can remember... but the last few years I have been struggling... there have been ups and downs, but lately the downs are becoming more. It is as if there is a raging war going on inside of me.. One part of me believes completely... the other not. The last few weeks the unbeliever in me started to become stronger... The site, rejectionofpascalswager.net created some serious doubts in me.

In your review I read that you actually enjoy reading Dawkins... How do you keep your faith when there is all this overwhelming evidence against Christianity? Any help would be appreciated. I am quite desperate!

H

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My response:

Dear H,

Thank you for writing!

Like you, I have my ups and downs. But I sense that we are in the "privileged" position of living during a time of in-betweens -- of becoming. We struggle to make sense of the truth that religion teaches, while having to deal with the truth that our senses, and our sciences, teach us. The two systems are in many ways irreconcilable -- Is the Earth 4.5 billion years old as science teaches, or 6000 years old, as some believe the Bible teaches? The examples are endless.

We are like chicks struggling to emerge from the safety and comfort of the egg. Nature has equipped chicks with a small hard spot on their beaks, and it is with this near-useless tool that they must strike again and again at the egg, with only the tiniest amount of leverage, to even crack the shell. Then, it is a titanic struggle, over many minutes and hours, while vulnerable to enemies, that is required to break free from the egg, exhausted, into a new and alien world.

We in the 20th and 21st (and maybe 22nd and 23rd!) centuries are breaking through the hard shell of orthodoxy and ignorance. We need to escape the confines of our old lives and become new creations.

One of the ways that I approach the problem is through experience, and the experiences of others. While religions have relied on creeds, beliefs and formulations to control their believers, the new religious person will also check belief against interior experience. In this, most of us are babies. We yearn for the answers provided from above, for judgements provided by ancients authorities or for a leader to declare us justified. But these seem to divide us, when our instincts want to unite us.

In some ways, I am not interested in whether these instincts toward goodness, truthfulness and integrity are God-given or simply the best that a rather kludgy brain can imagine and yearn for. But some of us are built, seemingly, with the urge to treat others with justice, tolerance and love. We call forth (from ancient evolved brains, the depths of our souls, or both) nobility, fairness and gentleness. As a believer in evolution, I am bowled over that such gentility can exist in our primate brains! And while I doubt that this constitutes a proof of the existence of God, I am overwhelmed by its existence, and shamed when I do not measure up to the highest level of honor that I can imagine.

As a Christian, I am heartened that the highest behaviors propounded by my faith ring true to the highest actions that my mind can imagine. To honor the least; to bless the mourning; to shelter the homeless; to lay down one's life; to carry one's cross; to love my enemy; to forgive; to lose life rather than save it -- these are noble aspirations whether or not one believes that Jesus was Son of God born of the Virgin Mary. In my heretic's mind, to live nobly is worthwhile, whether one believes one does it for Christ, to get into heaven or to live in harmony with one's own conscience.

To be true to oneself is paramount. In non-religious terms, accept yourself for who you are -- a person who seeks truth and is dissatisfied with half-answers. In religious terms, accept that God is with you as you stuggle and doubt and strive for a better undertanding of your place in Creation.

I am a believer, though probably unorthodox by most standards. I believe that God speaks to most of us in hints and whispers. He speaks occassionally in big ways -- as in the life and death and return of Jesus -- a mystery that has boundless meanings and reverberations in the life of many. Death from life -- the theme of this season (at least in the northern hemisphere!) is observable -- attend a feast after a funeral and see for yourself -- laughter comes from tears, connections out of separation, integration from isolation.

Don't believe in resurrection? Fine, come and eat anyway, and laugh with me!

And you wonder why Jesus liked to eat with sinners? He taught the heavenly feast by living it on earth!

Anyway, I am touched that you wrote. Take this for what it is worth, but 10 years ago, I was preparing for a trip to South Africa. My wife and my boys and I spent 10 days in Cape Town and Kruger State Park, and fell in love with the country. I have been trying to think of an apt way to celebrate our trip. Then, here is your letter!

Coincidence? A touch of divinity? Does it matter? I am glad you wrote.

Be well. Be at peace. Keep wrestling. You're hardly alone!

Best,

J